If we are not aware of how we come across, our behaviors, thoughts and emotions can create unintended consequence and potentially impact the desired end result we are striving for and effect the relationships that are important to us.

As I writer I try to be intentional about my words. As a coach, I know words have an impact and can positively or negatively create reactions and have long tail consequences.

When you acknowledge someone, you are talking about the whole person: both the “human being” and the “human doing.” The words you say affect them at a different level. You are truly saying: I notice you and I appreciate what you are doing.

Our stories can support us in positive ways, or they can also destroy us before we even get started.

Searching for and understanding the viewpoints of others is the sign of a growth mindset. Here are 3 tips to promote that.

There are no guarantees. To go where you want to go, you must find the courage to try anyway.

And then, in a moment of awareness, I stepped back, and asked myself a question: How does this type of futurizing serve me? The answer: It does not. Especially right now.

What gets your ire up? The small things that set you off. Understanding what your triggers are, and the common situations when they occur, will help you be in control of your responses.

We instinctively bring our beliefs to all of our relationships, including our random encounters. Because no two individuals are alike, and each of us carries a past history and a current perspective, our beliefs naturally create tensions in our relationship.

Wins helps change our internal language from what went wrong today, to what went right.

As a high performer, this is tough. We fight our self-image and we fight the image others have of us. We have been trained to overcome our own self talk as well as the naysayers or hecklers on the sideline. It is part of our DNA. But this brave outer face does not always serve the long-term goal.

I am a huge proponent of self-reflection: the practice of stepping back and reflecting on past actions, thoughts, behaviors, and results. This can provide insight for your future growth and development. It also provides space to contemplate change, and to address behaviors that do not reflect your best intentions.

What good is striving if I don’t savor that which I work so hard to achieve?

Goals are not straight lines to achievement but rather waves of upward, sideways, and downward movement.

The over-use of a strength can affect the outcome that you desire, or worse, a relationship that you value. In that moment we need a cue to help shift a negative experience toward a positive process.

Who are the exemplars in your life?

For me, an exemplar is someone who serves as an example of character, action, and compassion, who is open to listening and learning. An exemplar is someone who accepts that life is a journey of experiences, teaching us perspectives along the way.

It can be a habit of highly successful people to want to find solutions, to provide answers to tough problems. The danger is in jumping to answers before we have asked the right questions. We must explore the questions beyond “How can I help?” Although I want to get to this state, what I really need now is to understand better and more completely.

This is a skill that high performers develop. They learn to regularly assess what they’re facing, and ask themselves what actually is the root problem of the challenge. Sometimes it is a singular issue, and other times it requires a more complex analysis.

If you were running a think-tank workshop and had to develop a theme around a single word, what would the word be? This challenge demands that you capture the members’ attention, and also answer their three critical questions:

Questions such as these can shift your thoughts from “no way” to “yes, maybe.” They open up possibilities. But remember that possibilities only become realities when you add the effort.